It is Spring, 2020, and as I look out my window and see the trees swaying gracefully in the breeze and hear the birds chirping their gentle song, I feel blessed.
I am surrounded by a community of diverse and beautiful people who have worked together for decades to create a fully functioning EcoVillage—in preparation for these times of planetary purification we now are in. Under the spiritual direction of Van of Urantia and Niánn Emerson Chase, we have gathered from around the globe, endeavoring to create positive and global change for our world, which we know involves purifying our souls, so that we may ascend spiritually to serve humanity to the very best of our God-given abilities.
While many people in the world have been oblivious to the alarming and widespread increase of systems breaking down on a planetary scale in recent years, others of us have been acutely aware of the earth’s changes and unable to ignore the fulfillment of prophesies about these times and the end of life, as we know it. As a student of Fifth Epochal Revelation,1 I have also been taught to recognize the spiritual causes of all that is out of divine pattern on Urantia (Earth) and, more importantly, to search for all those things in myself that are my personal hidden faults and presumptuous sins, so I can become purified and healed and clean in God’s sight.
I believe that now, more than ever, we all need to assess and reassess our values, as well as who and what we rely upon for our survival. And it’s important to understand that our survival can be defined beyond just the ability to stay alive, as it also ultimately includes the survival of our spiritual selves (what many call our “soul”) to go forward in eternity. So to whatever degree we are invested in an unhealthy lifestyle (impacting our body, mind, and soul as well as our societies), we need to wake up to the fact that “the American dream” is built on really shaky ground. And unfortunately, in today’s globally-connected world, a vast number of people in many countries have adopted ‘the American dream,” not just Americans.
COVID-19 has transformed our global society in the twinkling of an eye. It is likely that pandemics will continue to happen. Have the fires, droughts, floods, climate changes, pollution, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, food and water shortages, refugee migrations etc. affected you personally yet? Have you put any thought into how you will survive if you are suddenly unable to buy what you need or to obtain energy or water by simply turning on a switch or a faucet?
In this time of planetary purification—prophesied for centuries by indigenous cultures around the world and also foretold in the Bible—the best course of action begins with sincerely seeking spiritual purity. This will open the way for you to hear whatever steps of faith you need to take to survive. As you make more Godly decisions and widen your circle to include caring for more of your brothers and sisters, your own spiritual growth will increase. Even if you meet your death, which many inevitably will, you will meet it in a state of peace that comes from being prepared, in your soul, to continue your spiritual ascension when you wake up on the mansion worlds.2
My Purification Process
I signed up to be a minister-in-training the moment I became a student of Van of Urantia and Niánn Emerson Chase in 1992 in Sedona, Arizona. Before that, I had walked with God in my life since age nineteen, when I went through a spiritual rebirth. This experience brought The URANTIA Book (which I had been studying for two years) to life. I went on to become involved in Native American spirituality and was trained to lead ceremonies and eventually became a pipe-carrier. I spent many years studying wholistic healing arts and eventually became a Reiki teacher. I created a business called “Living Shelter Crafts” and manufactured tipis and yurts for people over a period of twenty years. I also lived in many lodges during that time.
Soon after my spiritual rebirth at age nineteen, I began to sense that I had deep impurities in my soul. I did not understand what this was because I knew I never wanted to cause any harm to others. And yet, I had to be honest that God was revealing to me that my soul definitely needed purification, because in hindsight I can see now how some parts of me were not as kind and loving in my actions as I felt in my heart.
It was not until I encountered the fourth-dimension3 (in Divine Administration4) that I began to have my lower (dio) patterns triggered in ways that gave me opportunities to see my lower self. In the third dimension,5 no one confronts you. In fact, people often go out of their way to offer false flattery and stroke one another’s egos. I wanted to be “purified” from the impurities I vaguely sensed, but I was not really willing to admit my daily patterns of selfishness, laziness, sloppiness, bitchy-ness, control issues, resentment, delusions of grandeur, entitlement, and down-right rebellion towards God and true spiritual elders in my life. This is because of the hidden deep pride I have carried for lifetimes.
I am sure all my friends in the third dimension saw these patterns in me, but I made sure no one dared confront me. In fact, as a pipe-carrier, Reiki teacher, etc. I thought I was pretty hot stuff. I became false in my personality and lost touch with humility.
One day, early in my training as a Destiny Reservist6 under the Human-Rights Eldership of Divine Administration, I received a letter. It was from all the Elders in my life at that time, and it lovingly and with great clarity pointed out that they saw my patterns and were offering to help me see and overcome them. They expressed that they were especially concerned with how my imbalances were affecting my teen-age son.
I share this story to illustrate my textbook prideful reaction to this letter (reaction patterns that I continue to battle with whenever someone corrects me). I also ask you, dear reader, to examine your own prideful reactions, for now we are all in a planetary crisis together. We all need to get humble, get real, find our true spiritual Elders, and let go of our pride, control, and power issues, to allow God to lead us through our personal and collective tribulations into the next phase, which is called light and life.7
I read the letter with trepidation. My lower self immediately perceived it as a threat, and I literally felt sick to my stomach. My thick filter of pride was instantly activated and thus I translated this blessed offer (from a group of true Elders to minister to my soul and improve my life) into a negative attack.
Next, I went into the offensive. Instead of re-reading the letter with a humble heart and an open mind that recognized this as the awesome opportunity for purification I had been praying for, I started building a case to defend my pride. Thoughts like “What they are really saying is that they do not want me here” and “Who the hell do they think they are?” and “I am not putting up with this shit” and “It is their fault that I may have to leave now” all ran through my mind in what rapidly became a full-blown pity party.
I even went so far as to make a call to a friend in Tucson to ask if I could come and stay with her for a while, as I was thinking about leaving the community I had recently joined in Sedona. Lucky for me, I had promised myself (years before) never to make important decisions impulsively, and especially in an emotional state of crazy. At this point, I should have reached out in humility to one of my Elders and asked for help. But to do that required letting go of whatever control I imagined myself to have in the situation, and I was too prideful to do it.
“Natives say there are two kinds of people: those who take correction as criticism and those who take it with gratitude and change.”
— Niánn Emerson Chase
So I toughed it out alone. I was in a horrible state of limbo because I would not allow myself to justify running away because of my well-established “no impulsive-important decisions” rule and yet, I was not ready to get on my knees and ask God for help.
Next, my self-pity party sunk into deep sadness and grief. I spent a few hours feeling really sorry for myself, yet stubbornly refusing to have any kind of spiritized thoughts that come from surrender, humility, and a sincere desire to know the truth.
Finally, in the wee hours of the night, I was emotionally spent and feeling totally raw and exposed in my soul. It was then that I decided to get on my knees and pray to Christ Michael. I admitted that I was a mess and sincerely declared that I would do whatever He wanted me to do. Soon, my mind began to stabilize and my emotions began to calm. I felt a peacefulness begin to drift into my soul as I curled up in a ball on my bed.
As I lay there, breathing the peace of Christ into my heart, I suddenly thought about the children in the community. I was one of their teachers, and I loved them all so much. I pictured myself telling them that I had decided to leave and that all I had been teaching them about the Universal Father, Christ Michael, and Fifth Epochal Revelation was a lie. When I pictured their twinkling eyes, I knew I could never do that. I decided that being true to God and the children was more important than whatever pain I would need to go through to face my soul’s adjudication process.
I fell into an exhausted sleep but was soon awakened because I felt the presence of someone in my room. I cracked open my eyes and saw a large man in a robe with a hood sitting on the floor. He was rocking back and forth like a Hassidic Jew. In my altered state, I was not afraid. I knew this was a celestial being and that he was praying for me.
I later found out this was Jacob, who was my father in that ancient time during a past life. Then later I discovered that the finaliter8 Paladin (who is one of the major celestials who teaches Continuing Fifth Epochal Revelation9) was Jacob.
Celestial Overcontrol10 has been totally involved with life on Urantia (Earth) from the beginning. All cultures on the planet have names for our unseen friends, and it is time for all of us to get to know them by their true names. We all need to become students of Fifth Epochal Revelation, Continuing Fifth Epochal Revelation, and Vanetics11 to do this.
My purification is an ongoing process that I fully expect to be in for a long time. I really do not know if it will ever end, and I am a person who wholeheartedly believes in eternity. There are aspects of purification that are unique to each one of us, but in many ways, we are all the same. It is embarrassing to realize how predictable I am when it comes to my lower patterns, especially pride.
I have been spiritually schizophrenic because of the disparity between my sincere desire to be a Godly person and the dark patterns of rebellion in my soul. Not everyone is exactly like me, nor am I a horrible person. I recommend reading The Cosmic Family, Volume 1 to better understand what a fourth-order starseed12 is. I happen to be an old fourth-order starseed, with lifetimes of making ungodly choices, hence I have to undo many soul issues. My patterns are deeper and more entrenched than some, but we all pretty much are in the same boat when it comes to the cure, and that is humility and putting the needs of others first.
I have now been in the goodly company of Divine Administration and under the tutelage of Van of Urantia and Niánn Emerson Chase for about three decades. They, and everyone here, have supported my healing process with wisdom and discreet compassion. They see my potential and the destiny that is possible for my soul—if I can only become purified of all the stinky pride and serve others with the bright inner light of humility.
British theologian and author C.S. Lewis wrote that all other sins are like mere fleabites against the sin of pride. He said pride is a spiritual sin that causes us to compete constantly because we want to have power over everyone else. This poignantly describes my lower self and addresses the crux of what is in my soul that needs purifying. I know I have virtues too, and that my relationship with my Lord, Christ Michael,13 is the saving grace that brings me peace during the frequent dark nights of the soul I continue to undergo in my purification process.
When I choose to surrender to God, to give everything to Him, I become an instrument that serves at His pleasure. When I choose to control my moments, I am opening the gateway to all the dio14 power patterns that this crusty old starseed carries in her soul. The more I embrace my healing process, the more I can see, and take responsibility for, my patterns. Only then is change possible. I need my Elders, my counselors, my cosmic family,15 to keep revealing my blind spots to me. Only if I can be humble, can I keep walking forward on this road of purification and healing.
“The nucleus of every atom is mind energy. If thought is pure, the atom orbits at the right velocity”
From The Cosmic Family, Volume 2 (Paper 242)
Purification Leads To A Healthy Body And Soul
As my purification process unfolds, I enjoy increasing health, vitality, and joy. I know this is true for everyone who does this deep work. For years I prayed to understand and heal the deep anxiety that causes me to gnash my teeth at night. God showed me (eventually) that my underlying anxiety, guilt, and shame is simply and directly connected to specific acts of disobedience to Godly authority in my life. Within weeks of realizing the importance for me to affirm and diligently practice my desire to be obedient to God in everything, I began to feel a diffusion of anxiety and stress. Whenever I notice a “mysterious” anxiety coming up, I search my mind for an area where I have not obeyed God. Once I clean it up, I feel at peace again. I am beginning to feel more at home, more relaxed with people, more in tune with God and my angel friends.
To the degree I am able to face my own dark nights of the soul, I can also discern and more sensitively communicate truth to others about what they too need to look at and change. Purification of the soul strengthens faith and allows us to face challenges with spiritual maturity and with the Deo (Godly) power to manifest what is best for the common good. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of recognizing and respecting the true Elders in our lives. Pride must be chipped away to do this.
The test for humility is whether or not we are capable of hearing the truth from God, usually through our Elders if we are lucky enough to have them. The test for having a true relationship with God (no matter what name you call your Creator) is how well we forgive ourselves and others. Those self-pity parties we all sometimes indulge in are fed by not trusting God. As the song “Come On Up To The House,” performed by Sarah Jarosz, says, “Get off that cross, we could use the wood.”
The world needs each one of us to become our very best selves, because without a doubt, the times they are a-changin’ and God is giving everyone the chance to heal and blossom into a wonderful new future together as planetary brothers and sisters.
“God is perfecting us as long as we say, ‘God forgive me — today is a new day’. The big problem is that we can’t forgive ourselves. Forgive and move on.”
— Van of Urantia
NOTE: Most of the Continuing Fifth Epochal Revelation terms defined below in the end notes are quoted from the glossary of Teachings On Healing, From A Spiritual Perspective by Van of Urantia and Niánn Emerson Chase or otherwise are from The Cosmic Family volumes by Van of Urantia.
1 Fifth Epochal Revelation — revelatory information published as The URANTIA Book and containing more than 2,000 pages of facts about God, the cosmos, and many of the celestial and mortal inhabitants of the Grand Universe. The URANTIA Book was first printed in 1955, although the information contained therein came to the planet beginning in the 1930s.
2 mansion world(s) — planets in another dimension where souls go to upon death; the beginning of the after-life, where souls gain new morontia bodies and live on morontian worlds
3 fourth dimension — the next dimension that is higher on a consciousness level as well on a “material” level, that of morontia
4 Divine Administration — a hierarchy of spiritual leaders (human mortals and celestials) mandated to assist with the solving of world affairs
5 third dimension — the present dominant culture on Urantia; the “mainstream”; the lower, fallen system of the mass-consciousness
6 Destiny Reservist — human mortals assigned and trained to aid in times of planetary emergency, particularly spiritual crises; a.k.a. change agents.
7 light and life — stages of planetary evolution, where consistently more and more stabilization of souls and the planet transpire into harmony and peace
8 finaliter — highly ascended, old soul (once a mortal but now a celestial personality) who has attained “finality” in the ascension to Paradise
9 Continuing Fifth Epochal Revelation — the continuation of the Fifth Epochal Revelation (The URANTIA Book), much of which is available in The Cosmic Family volumes, transmitted through the Audio Fusion Material Complement Van of Urantia. These teachings explain the Physics of Rebellion and Ascension Science, addressing the current state of the world and identifying the changes needed, on both individual and corporate levels, to truly solve planetary crises.
10 Celestial Overcontrol — celestial beings who help administer world affairs through a spiritual hierarchy in other dimensions
11 Vanetics are the teachings of Van, a supermortal described in The URANTIA Book in Papers 66 and 67. These teachings span a period of 300,000 years and cover the nature of God, the Universal Father, and true spiritual reality on Urantia (Earth). Many sacred writings of the world’s religions and philosophies include Van’s teachings.
12 fourth-order starseed — persons who have had past lives on other worlds in other universes and who participated in some manner in rebellion against God’s laws
13 Christ Michael — celestial ruler (Creator Son) of our local universe of Nebadon; incarnated as Jesus, Son of God
14 dio — erroneous; evil; ungodly; not of God, out of divine pattern
15 cosmic family — cosmically-connected, genetically-related souls; often from past lives on this planet and/or other worlds